...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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