quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
