The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
