She is in my trunk
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
