God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
