Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
