every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
