we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
