i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
