i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is Oprah even human
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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