He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize