We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's blow job season.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
