making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
