Are we in a gay sports bar?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
