I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
