I just made out with a guy for $7.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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