I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
