we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
