Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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