Got a toothbrush?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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