All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
