why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
