Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
