Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Randomize
