we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
