brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
