i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
