i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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