i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it glows. i had to have it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
