so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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