Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
