But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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