Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
