we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
