Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
