His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
