meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
