She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
