When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
