Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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