sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
