the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
They took my balls.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
