it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
