dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
