everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
