but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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