before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
