from now on my penis is your penis
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
