Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I deserve this hangover.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
