I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
