google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
